Ups and downs

Everyone has good and bad days, no matter who you are. For those of us who are hard of hearing or deaf, sometimes communication can be difficult, but hopefully we don't let it get the best of us. I'm a 'glass half full' kind of person and always try to see the optimistic side, but sometimes I just need to vent.

I guess I want to find out some way to improve things beyond lipreading and using hearing aids.
I'm tired of asking people to repeat what they say to me.
I'm tired of sometimes missing out hearing the punchline to a joke and watching everyone laugh. By the time I ask what the punchline was, the moment has passed.
I'm tired of ignorant people assuming that I'm stupid or less intelligent because I wear hearing aids, or that something is wrong with me when I misunderstand what someone says and try to guess.
I'm tired of ignorant people assuming hearing aids are just for the elderly, or that when others notice my aids, they mention that the only people they know who wear them are their grandparents etc. I would really like to meet some other young people like me who wear hearing aids, but I don't know where to start.
Sometimes I'm just tired of missing out on life.

All this makes me think of my childhood. I'm taken back to a time where playing games was the norm as I was a kid. Take "Marco Polo" for example - that game where you try and find another person in a pool with your eyes closed. If you're in you say "Marco" and the person you're looking for says "Polo". I hated that game, basically because winning it relied solely on something that I do not have - directional hearing. I used to have to "cheat" and dunk under the water, looking for the other person with my eyes open. It was either that or I got teased and ridiculed for not finding the other person, and my role as the person in was retired.

Most people have directional hearing. I do not. Being able to know what direction a sound is coming from relies on 2 functioning ears. The sound arrives to one ear a split second earlier than the other ear, so you can gauge not only the location of a sound, but how far away it is. As I was born with one deaf ear, it's literally an impossible task. If someone calls me and I can't see them, I will literally spin around in a circle looking for them until I find out where they are. Unless someone creates some great miracle hearing aid or implant etc. that can fully restore directional hearing, I will never experience this, but I accepted that a long time ago. I just rely on my vision to cross roads and watch out for cars etc. There are some things that I will never be able to do, but that is life. It's best to learn to accept that and establish manageable and realistic goals in life.

All this being said, the best way to improve communication is to get the attention of a deaf/hard of hearing person before you begin speaking. I clearly remember last year being at a shopping centre with some friends in the city I have just moved to. One of my friends had obviously been trying to call my name because she then walked into my line of vision and tapped my arm to get my attention. I realised she must have been standing behind me and I generally don't hear people unless I see them, especially if they are behind me.

So rule of thumb, if I can't see you I probably can't hear you either!

Myths and Misconceptions

I am still surprised at how many people out there still think that getting hearing aids instantly restores full hearing. This is the biggest misconception out of all the ones out there so I thought I'd include a list of some.
My hearing is improved when I wear my hearing aids. I hear more, however, I still find it very hard to understand conversation in background noise because the hearing aids amplify someone's voice AND the background noise as well. It's like turning up the juice on everything, so I definitely still have to lip read etc.

MYTHS ABOUT DEAF OR HARD OF HEARING PERSONS
MYTH All hearing losses are the same
MYTH All deaf people are mutes
MYTH All deaf people use hearing aids
MYTH All deaf people use sign language

And from http://hearinglosshelp.com/weblog/seven-myths-hearing-people-harbor-concerning-hard-of-hearing-people.php

Seven Myths Hearing People Harbor Concerning Hard of Hearing People
by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

Hearing loss is typically misunderstood by the general population. Thus, it is not surprising that many hearing people have bought into the following 7 myths regarding hearing loss and the people with these losses.

Myth No. 1. Hard of hearing people are less intelligent than “hearing” people. Thus, they attach this social stigma to having a hearing loss. This myth is so deeply ingrained in the general population that even today most hard of hearing people refuse to wear hearing aids for fear of being thought stupid. The truth is, hard of hearing people are just like other people. Some are smart and some are not. Don’t blame any perceived lack of intelligence on hearing loss. Place the blame where it should be—on communication difficulties.

Myth No. 2. Wearing hearing aids returns hearing to normal. Not true. Hearing aids can improve hearing—typically reducing the hearing loss by half—but never bring it up to normal. Thus hard of hearing people still have a hearing loss even when wearing their hearing aids. They often need to supplement what they hear by using assistive devices, by speechreading and by using other effective hearing loss coping strategies.

Myth No. 3. Hard of hearing people have selective hearing. They only hear what they want to hear, but they can hear if they really want to. While it is true that hard of hearing people do indeed have selective hearing, it is not because they don’t pay attention. Rather, it is because their ears do not hear certain frequencies of sounds. They have no choice over which sounds they hear and don’t hear.

Myth No. 4. Only old people have a hearing loss. Not true. Because of excessive noise exposure, taking medications that damage ears, ear infections and other factors, hearing loss affects children, adults and seniors alike. One study showed that on any given day, 15% of the children in elementary schools have a significant hearing loss.

Myth No. 5. When you have a hearing loss you somehow (magically) become a good lip reader. Thus, since hard of hearing people can read lips, it doesn’t matter whether they hear or not. Fact: lip reading, (now more correctly called speechreading) while invaluable, is far from perfect. Only about 30% of English sounds can be easily read on a person’s lips. That leaves the hard of hearing person guessing at the remaining 70%. While a few are remarkably good at this, no one is perfect.

Myth No. 6. If a hard of hearing person can’t hear you, raise your voice at them. The truth is, most hard of hearing people need you to speak up just a bit, but they really want you to face them, then speak slowly and enunciate clearly. This is because when you lose some of your hearing, you hear people talking, but often you can’t understand much of what they are saying.

Myth No. 7. Hard of hearing people understand sign language. Therefore, in order to accommodate people with hearing loss at meetings, you just need to provide a sign language interpreter. Fact: of the 70 million people with hearing loss, fewer than 1% know how to sign. Hard of hearing people typically need to use, in addition to their hearing aids, various assistive devices and real-time captioning (CART).

And one bonus myth—Myth No. 8. If you speak normally, you obviously can’t have much of a hearing loss, therefore you are really faking it when you speak properly but say you can’t hear. The truth is, the vast majority of hard of hearing people speak normally. Some people that have more severe hearing losses and don’t wear hearing aids talk louder than normal. Other people with profound hearing losses speak in a flat tone (deaf speech). And surprise, some people with severe to profound hearing losses speak perfectly normally too. I’m one of them!

Amusing slogans and funny stuff

I'm on a Facebook group called "Deaf in one ear? Yes". One of the posts made there was about funny slogans/bumper stickers and the like related to single sided deafness. These people have some amusing ideas!:

"Single siders do it still asking you to repeat yourself"

"Pardon?"

"I'm deaf, not stupid"

"Single siders always choose the right side"

"Dolby Sound is for losers, Mono all the way!!!" (haha I really like this one!)

"No I can hear you, I am just ignoring you!"

A t-shirt with an arrow that says "walk on this side!", or a t-shirt with an arrow pointing at your deaf ear saying "idiots stand here" (or maybe both on the same shirt?).

And now for my personal favourite. One clever woman suggested a pair of earrings. One for her good ear that says "may I help you?", and the other one for her deaf ear that could say "out of order - please use other ear"

Hahaha the things people come up with! I so want to make a pair of earrings like that now!

Getting creative!

Wow it's been a while since I posted here! I thought I'd update things.
I felt inspired by a little creativity I saw on a blog by (e (see my blog links to the side of the page). (e decided to decorate her hearing aids with stickers you put on finger or toenails. I've also done this for nights out in the past using stick-on coloured rhinestones in blue, pink and purple. I bought some stickers at the newsagent the other day to add a bit of spark to my normally boring looking tan hearing aids. Here's the result!
ps. I wish my aids came in purple, or zebra stripes like Phonak Naida's have on them. That would look so cool! Sadly, my CROS aids only come in tan, so it's sticker time!

Is there a Hard of Hearing culture?

So I was reading Shanna Groves' comments over at her Lip Reader blog (see link to your right under my blog list). She was talking about the concept of a hard of hearing culture, which I think is an interesting concept.

What makes a culture? To me it's a group of people sharing a collective way of doing things, with traditions and generally a common language. Take Deaf culture for example. In Shanna's blog she says "The Deaf culture is something its participants are proud of, a culture with a shared ASL language and communication style that goes back many years".

So a culture shares a set of common things. It has an identity. People who are hard of hearing may have different ways of communicating. I for one, communicate orally, use hearing aids, lip reading and I watch a person's body language and gesturing when they speak. I've also started watching movies with the captions on because I find it easier to watch without having to concentrate on every word so much.
There are lots of different ways to communicate - direct sign language, orally, having a sign language interpreter, lipreading, using various assistive listening devices such as FM systems and hearing aids etc.

Keeping all this in mind, does a hard of hearing culture exist, given the varying communication methods? If one does exist, what does it look like? What are the collective things that make it a culture? I think a culture can be built on the fact that there are things which are unique to certain people. Eg. I have never felt part of the hearing community because I don't have fully functioning hearing, nor do I feel a part of the Deaf community as I don't know how to sign (yet!) and I've never shared in that culture.
To make things more confusing, I generally hear well in quiet environments but am pretty much deaf in noisy ones with lots of background noise. I feel like I'm in the middle. Just some food for thought.

Time for a laugh!

I saw this today and found it really funny. It's an ad from the 2008 American Super Bowl called Bob's House. It illustrates a popular joke in the deaf community.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffrq6cUoE5A&feature=PlayList&p=BD6D8E3E19C3BEE7&index=20&playnext=3&playnext_from=PL

Movies and tv shows

This clip is from the American tv show called "Glee". It involves the Glee cast singing John Lennon's "Imagine" while Haverbrook Deaf Choir sign in ASL (American Sign Language).

It gives me goosebumps every time I watch it! Enjoy! (and be prepared to be blown away!).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDBeceraGNs&feature=related


Also, I watched a movie recently called "Mr Holland's Opus". I had seen it before but not for a long time. The synopsis goes like this...
Glenn Holland is a musician and composer who takes a teaching job to pay the rent while, in his 'spare time', he can strive to achieve his true goal - compose one memorable piece of music to leave his mark on the world. As Holland discovers 'Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans' and as the years unfold, the joy of sharing his contagious passion for music with his students become his new definition of success. Written by {russell.boyd@dsto.defence.gov.au}

Early on in the movie his toddler-aged son, Cole becomes deaf as a result of acoustic trauma. Although it's a very emotional and personal movie (due to me being a musician who is half deaf), it's very well done and it has grown to be one of my favourites.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c68Z7-qVu7g

Both these things spur me on to learn Auslan (Australian Sign Language), so I will look into starting classes this year.