Ups and downs

Everyone has good and bad days, no matter who you are. For those of us who are hard of hearing or deaf, sometimes communication can be difficult, but hopefully we don't let it get the best of us. I'm a 'glass half full' kind of person and always try to see the optimistic side, but sometimes I just need to vent.

I guess I want to find out some way to improve things beyond lipreading and using hearing aids.
I'm tired of asking people to repeat what they say to me.
I'm tired of sometimes missing out hearing the punchline to a joke and watching everyone laugh. By the time I ask what the punchline was, the moment has passed.
I'm tired of ignorant people assuming that I'm stupid or less intelligent because I wear hearing aids, or that something is wrong with me when I misunderstand what someone says and try to guess.
I'm tired of ignorant people assuming hearing aids are just for the elderly, or that when others notice my aids, they mention that the only people they know who wear them are their grandparents etc. I would really like to meet some other young people like me who wear hearing aids, but I don't know where to start.
Sometimes I'm just tired of missing out on life.

All this makes me think of my childhood. I'm taken back to a time where playing games was the norm as I was a kid. Take "Marco Polo" for example - that game where you try and find another person in a pool with your eyes closed. If you're in you say "Marco" and the person you're looking for says "Polo". I hated that game, basically because winning it relied solely on something that I do not have - directional hearing. I used to have to "cheat" and dunk under the water, looking for the other person with my eyes open. It was either that or I got teased and ridiculed for not finding the other person, and my role as the person in was retired.

Most people have directional hearing. I do not. Being able to know what direction a sound is coming from relies on 2 functioning ears. The sound arrives to one ear a split second earlier than the other ear, so you can gauge not only the location of a sound, but how far away it is. As I was born with one deaf ear, it's literally an impossible task. If someone calls me and I can't see them, I will literally spin around in a circle looking for them until I find out where they are. Unless someone creates some great miracle hearing aid or implant etc. that can fully restore directional hearing, I will never experience this, but I accepted that a long time ago. I just rely on my vision to cross roads and watch out for cars etc. There are some things that I will never be able to do, but that is life. It's best to learn to accept that and establish manageable and realistic goals in life.

All this being said, the best way to improve communication is to get the attention of a deaf/hard of hearing person before you begin speaking. I clearly remember last year being at a shopping centre with some friends in the city I have just moved to. One of my friends had obviously been trying to call my name because she then walked into my line of vision and tapped my arm to get my attention. I realised she must have been standing behind me and I generally don't hear people unless I see them, especially if they are behind me.

So rule of thumb, if I can't see you I probably can't hear you either!

Myths and Misconceptions

I am still surprised at how many people out there still think that getting hearing aids instantly restores full hearing. This is the biggest misconception out of all the ones out there so I thought I'd include a list of some.
My hearing is improved when I wear my hearing aids. I hear more, however, I still find it very hard to understand conversation in background noise because the hearing aids amplify someone's voice AND the background noise as well. It's like turning up the juice on everything, so I definitely still have to lip read etc.

MYTHS ABOUT DEAF OR HARD OF HEARING PERSONS
MYTH All hearing losses are the same
MYTH All deaf people are mutes
MYTH All deaf people use hearing aids
MYTH All deaf people use sign language

And from http://hearinglosshelp.com/weblog/seven-myths-hearing-people-harbor-concerning-hard-of-hearing-people.php

Seven Myths Hearing People Harbor Concerning Hard of Hearing People
by Neil Bauman, Ph.D.

Hearing loss is typically misunderstood by the general population. Thus, it is not surprising that many hearing people have bought into the following 7 myths regarding hearing loss and the people with these losses.

Myth No. 1. Hard of hearing people are less intelligent than “hearing” people. Thus, they attach this social stigma to having a hearing loss. This myth is so deeply ingrained in the general population that even today most hard of hearing people refuse to wear hearing aids for fear of being thought stupid. The truth is, hard of hearing people are just like other people. Some are smart and some are not. Don’t blame any perceived lack of intelligence on hearing loss. Place the blame where it should be—on communication difficulties.

Myth No. 2. Wearing hearing aids returns hearing to normal. Not true. Hearing aids can improve hearing—typically reducing the hearing loss by half—but never bring it up to normal. Thus hard of hearing people still have a hearing loss even when wearing their hearing aids. They often need to supplement what they hear by using assistive devices, by speechreading and by using other effective hearing loss coping strategies.

Myth No. 3. Hard of hearing people have selective hearing. They only hear what they want to hear, but they can hear if they really want to. While it is true that hard of hearing people do indeed have selective hearing, it is not because they don’t pay attention. Rather, it is because their ears do not hear certain frequencies of sounds. They have no choice over which sounds they hear and don’t hear.

Myth No. 4. Only old people have a hearing loss. Not true. Because of excessive noise exposure, taking medications that damage ears, ear infections and other factors, hearing loss affects children, adults and seniors alike. One study showed that on any given day, 15% of the children in elementary schools have a significant hearing loss.

Myth No. 5. When you have a hearing loss you somehow (magically) become a good lip reader. Thus, since hard of hearing people can read lips, it doesn’t matter whether they hear or not. Fact: lip reading, (now more correctly called speechreading) while invaluable, is far from perfect. Only about 30% of English sounds can be easily read on a person’s lips. That leaves the hard of hearing person guessing at the remaining 70%. While a few are remarkably good at this, no one is perfect.

Myth No. 6. If a hard of hearing person can’t hear you, raise your voice at them. The truth is, most hard of hearing people need you to speak up just a bit, but they really want you to face them, then speak slowly and enunciate clearly. This is because when you lose some of your hearing, you hear people talking, but often you can’t understand much of what they are saying.

Myth No. 7. Hard of hearing people understand sign language. Therefore, in order to accommodate people with hearing loss at meetings, you just need to provide a sign language interpreter. Fact: of the 70 million people with hearing loss, fewer than 1% know how to sign. Hard of hearing people typically need to use, in addition to their hearing aids, various assistive devices and real-time captioning (CART).

And one bonus myth—Myth No. 8. If you speak normally, you obviously can’t have much of a hearing loss, therefore you are really faking it when you speak properly but say you can’t hear. The truth is, the vast majority of hard of hearing people speak normally. Some people that have more severe hearing losses and don’t wear hearing aids talk louder than normal. Other people with profound hearing losses speak in a flat tone (deaf speech). And surprise, some people with severe to profound hearing losses speak perfectly normally too. I’m one of them!